Today, we get to hear some perks of growing old:
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service.
People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
There is absolutely nothing left to learn the hard way.
Things you buy now definitely won't wear out.
You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.
You can live without intimacy but not without your glasses.
You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.
You get into heated arguments about Social Security.
You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge, except for the minimum speed allowed.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
You sing along with elevator music.
Your eyes won't get very much worse.
Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
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