Showing posts with label Be Yourself. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Be Yourself. Show all posts

Monday, February 10, 2014

Why High School Reunions Are Good For You, Really

Hear this fun radio segment from NPR about High School Reunions. They focus on the many awkward questions to avoid asking at reunions. The guest on the show is Clarence Page, a columnist for the Chicago Tribune, who wrote this piece that got him invited to NPR. After you finish, set to buying your tickets for our reunion. It's only months away!

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Making the most of class reunions

This article comes from CNN.com and is authored by Louisa Kamps. Read it in its entirety here.



(CNN) -- Throughout my 20s, I said "Thanks, but nooo thanks," to school reunions. Thinking myself a forward-leaner barreling toward the next big thing (a lusty new life as an aspiring woman of letters in New York City), I had zero interest in revisiting my high school or college days.

My reunion aversion wasn't about how I looked, how successful I was or some other fear of appearances. I just had no reason to feel nostalgic. As a student, I'd never found a solid perch in school's social aviary. While I always had a grab bag of close friends, with most of my classmates I often struggled to hold myself just so, to do or say the exact right thing. Among a circle of superachievers at my Wisconsin high school, I could break a sweat attempting the perfect wisecrack. With a posse of beautiful tortured artistes in college at Brown, I wondered, squinting through clouds of American Spirit smoke, if my expression was properly pained, my eyeliner adequately runny.

But as I inched forward in my chosen profession post-college and started settling into my own skin, I no longer felt such a compulsion to break with my past. And I started to become curious about my former classmates: What ever happened to all the brains and beauties ... and jocks and preps and stoners? Who were they growing up to be?

Hoping to find out, I headed to Providence, Rhode Island, for my 10th college reunion with my good friend and classmate Nina. It was 1999, the height of the dot-com hubbub. At the opening-night picnic, I was chatting with Nina and a few mutual acquaintances (some married; others, like Nina and me, still single) when word came that one of our classmates had to cancel last minute because she was finalizing a deal to sell her booming Internet advertising startup for, rumor had it, several million dollars. Our jabbering circle fell silent. We took longs swigs of our beers and frowned at our cut-offs and flip-flops. But when we looked up a moment later, we all just laughed -- deliciously, cathartically -- because we knew we'd been thinking the same thing: Where were our million-dollar paydays?

Right then I realized the consoling value of reconnecting with others who, by virtue of having passed through the same institutions with you and having been shaped by similar forces, share a good deal of your social-historical DNA. These are the people who understand better than anyone how you might have expected life to unfold and what a punch it is, therefore, when expectations and plans inevitably change. I've since become a true believer in reunions -- having attended every 5- and 10-year gathering at both of my alma maters since my first trip back to Brown.

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Sunday, September 8, 2013

The obituary of Mary A. "Pink" Mullaney

I discovered inspiration in a strange place tonight: An obituary of a woman I never knew. I happened to click on a friend's Facebook post, and the story of Mary A. "Pink" Mullaney reminded me that our lives are fleeting and our opportunities brief to leave something of worth in this world. I hope you enjoy the tale of "Pink's" life and that it inspires us to point our lives toward impacting people in a positive way as she did.


If you're about to throw away an old pair of pantyhose, stop. Consider: Mary Agnes Mullaney (you probably knew her as "Pink") who entered eternal life on Sunday, September 1, 2013. Her spirit is carried on by her six children, 17 grandchildren, three surviving siblings in New "Joisey", and an extended family of relations and friends from every walk of life. We were blessed to learn many valuable lessons from Pink during her 85 years, among them: Never throw away old pantyhose. Use the old ones to tie gutters, child-proof cabinets, tie toilet flappers, or hang Christmas ornaments.
Also: If a possum takes up residence in your shed, grab a barbecue brush to coax him out. If he doesn't leave, brush him for twenty minutes and let him stay.
Let a dog (or two or three) share your bed. Say the rosary while you walk them.
Go to church with a chicken sandwich in your purse. Cry at the consecration, every time. Give the chicken sandwich to your homeless friend after mass.
Go to a nursing home and kiss everyone. When you learn someone's name, share their patron saint's story, and their feast day, so they can celebrate. Invite new friends to Thanksgiving dinner. If they are from another country and you have trouble understanding them, learn to "listen with an accent."
Never say mean things about anybody; they are "poor souls to pray for."
Put picky-eating children in the box at the bottom of the laundry chute, tell them they are hungry lions in a cage, and feed them veggies through the slats.
Correspond with the imprisoned and have lunch with the cognitively challenged.
Do the Jumble every morning.
Keep the car keys under the front seat so they don't get lost.
Make the car dance by lightly tapping the brakes to the beat of songs on the radio.
Offer rides to people carrying a big load or caught in the rain or summer heat. Believe the hitchhiker you pick up who says he is a landscaper and his name is "Peat Moss."
Help anyone struggling to get their kids into a car or shopping cart or across a parking lot.
Give to every charity that asks. Choose to believe the best about what they do with your money, no matter what your children say they discovered online.
Allow the homeless to keep warm in your car while you are at Mass.
Take magazines you've already read to your doctors' office for others to enjoy. Do not tear off the mailing label, "Because if someone wants to contact me, that would be nice."
In her lifetime, Pink made contact time after time. Those who've taken her lessons to heart will continue to ensure that a cold drink will be left for the overheated garbage collector and mail carrier, every baby will be kissed, every nursing home resident will be visited, the hungry will have a sandwich, the guest will have a warm bed and soft nightlight, and the encroaching possum will know the soothing sensation of a barbecue brush upon its back.
Above all, Pink wrote -- to everyone, about everything. You may read this and recall a letter from her that touched your heart, tickled your funny bone, or maybe made you say "huh?"
She is survived by her children and grandchildren whose photos she would share with prospective friends in the checkout line: Tim (wife Janice, children Timmy, Joey, T.J., Miki and Danny); Kevin (wife Kathy, children Kacey, Ryan, Jordan and Kevin); Jerry (wife Gita, children Nisha and Cathan); MaryAnne; Peter (wife Maria Jose, children Rodrigo and Paulo); and Meg (husband David Vartanian, children Peter, Lily, Jerry and Blase); siblings Anne, Helen, and Robert; and many in-laws, nieces, nephews, friends and family too numerous to list but not forgotten.
Pink is reunited with her husband and favorite dance and political debate partner, Dr. Gerald L. Mullaney, and is predeceased by six siblings.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Reunion Etiquette

This article is by Diane Gottsman and is from Hitched Magazine. Read it in its original form here.

Few experiences generate the combination of excitement, anguish, fun and dread as the high school reunion. No matter what we've accomplished since graduation, the prospect of reuniting with old high school classmates can instantly transport us back—for better or worse. Before the big event, it may serve you well to brush up on a few etiquette tips to help you take on the reunion as the mature, wise adult you are today.

1. Remember who you are today. You may have felt like the mayor of Geekville in high school, but with the perspective of age and experience, you now realize that that many of your peers felt the same way. Maintain a firm foothold in your life today and resist falling back into your perceived social standing, whether you were a wallflower or the head cheerleader.

2. Step out of your comfort zone. Mingle with others, even those classmates you never talked to back in the day. Pretend you are meeting people you've never met before—everyone has changed since your high school days, even you.

3. Show respect for significant others. If you see your high school flame and his or her spouse, it's fine to say hello and chat. Be friendly without flirting and keep conversation focused on the present; it is not the time to reminisce about all the wild and crazy times you shared. If you are bringing your spouse, don't leave them stranded alone at the punchbowl while you pal around with your old field hockey team.

4. Take stock of your personal accomplishments. Give yourself a lift by doing a written inventory of everything you've achieved since high school: college, travel, family, career, whatever your "personal bests" have been. It's hard not to compare ourselves to others and think about where we are now versus where we thought we'd be when we were in high school. If you were voted "Most Likely to Succeed," but find yourself currently unemployed, don’t let that be a deterrent from going and networking with your former classmates. You will be surprised how the economy has affected your past group of friends—it’s not just you.

5. Practice your poker face. While you may feel shocked at how your peers have changed, make an attempt to keep your jaw from dropping and not openly display the shock you feel: "Oh my gosh, what happened to you?"

6. If you were a donkey (a.k.a. an ass) then, you don’t have to carry it over now. Maybe you were the class clown and feel the urge to make jokes at someone else's expense. You may have some lingering resentment toward the snotty teen queen who made fun of you for four straight years. Now is not the time to make up for it. You're wise, witty and well balanced… remember? Be civil. If you find someone evokes bad feelings in you, even after all these years, do your best to move on or just avoid them.

7. Dress the part. You'll give yourself an extra boost of confidence by dressing well and looking your best. If you have a couple of months’ notice, a reunion can be a great motivator to exercise and eat well. If you're going with friends, it might be a fun to get a makeover or shop together. Do not, under any circumstances, try to fit into the same clothes you wore in high school, even if you are the same size.

8. Keep it in perspective. There's no need to blow your budget on designer clothes or completely reinvent yourself to impress people you haven't seen since high school and will likely not see again until the next reunion.

9. Don't brag. Even if you are wildly successful and fabulously wealthy, stay humble, ask questions of others and don't bore people with a long list of your accomplishments.

10. Liar, liar pants on fire. Don’t fabricate any elaborate stories about your past or present life. Remember that the truth is only an internet search away.

11. Give your old classmates a break. That nerdy guy from homeroom may have gone on to be a rocket scientist and the girl who always managed to do just a little bit better than you on every assignment may be suffering from a recent divorce. You never know what has gone on in the past several years. Take the time to build a new and improved relationship.

12. Take it all in stride. For better or worse, the reunion will come and go and you will go back to your life better off for attending. Take advantage of seeing old friends and making new ones. Relax and have a great time.


Diane Gottsman, a nationally recognized etiquette expert, is the owner of The Protocol School of Texas, a company specializing in etiquette training for corporations, universities and individuals, striving to polish their interpersonal skills. You can reach Diane at 877-490-1077 or www.protocolschooloftexas.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @:www.twitter.com/DianeGottsman.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

How to make the most of a high school reunion weekend


This article comes from WikiHow and is edited by Amazon 111, Carolyn Barratt, Flickerty, Randhir, Maddie Anderson, Sparkle604, Harri, and others. Read it in its original form here.
  1. Connect with your classmates and friends from high school. Use social networking tools like Facebook or Myspace, email or use some other means of communication that is easy and accessible for everyone.
    • As you get older you may find many social barriers have been forgotten and people you rarely associated with are now great friend material.
  2. Reach out to people you remember, ask questions and catch up online before the big weekend.
  3. Connect with your closest friends and start coordinating your hotels, travel and the events planned. This is especially helpful if you plan to spend time with these friends outside of the sanctioned events for the weekend.
    • Try to stay in the same hotel as your good friends. Coordinate which hotel ahead of time and try to book as far in advance as possible to get the room size and amenities you will need for a weekend.
    • Helpful amenities may include shuttle services, in-room refrigerator for snacks and drinks, and a seating area with couch for entertaining.
    • If you and a friend are traveling from the same town you can coordinate flying the same flight or riding together.
    • People who live closer and aren't flying can pack extras such as food and drinks or other items that may be cumbersome to travel with by air.
    • Ask for connecting rooms or rooms on the same floor as your friends that are also traveling to the reunion.
    • Arrive early on your check in day. By arriving late you may risk losing the room with amenities you were hoping to book.
    • If your reunion is putting a strain on local hotels, you should call to confirm your reservation.
    • Don't forget to pack a copy of any reservation confirmation before you leave home.
  4. Discuss with your closest friends the reunion event options available and what interest they have in attending those events.
    • Also discuss what other plans or family obligations they may have while in town. Just because it is your high school reunion doesn't mean you must only do sanctioned events.
  5. Plan alternate adventures than what was organized with your oldest and closest friends from high school.
    • A reunion is a great way to have many of your oldest and dearest friends in town at the same time. Plan an afternoon or evening out with your closest friends.
    • Try going out for breakfast or brunch with your friends if it's more appealing than the picnic planned.
    • Just one small gathering with your oldest friends is a great way to break up the hustle of a busy weekend with large reunion events planned.
    • If anyone still lives in the town, consider grilling out, gathering for cocktails before or after and event or just looking through photo albums.
  6. Pack your camera, the charger and film or memory cards. Encourage your friends to do the same.
    • Make sure you coordinate how you will share and swap photos after the event. Consider a photo site that you and your friends can access and share.
    • Let your friends know ahead of time if embarrassing photos should be tagged on social networking sites.
    • Perhaps agree the photos should only be seen by a certain group unless they are tame. Some people have jobs that discourage the posting of photos involving alcohol.
  7. Take your cameras and visit your old homes, favorite hang out places and those parts of town that make you nostalgic. Drive around town with your friends and enjoy the memories. Don't forget those secret party spots and hang outs that were popular only to your group. Take pictures and enjoy remembering those sites with your friends.
  8. Take a notebook and record the best quotes of the weekend made by your friends. This is great if you have a very witty group of friends. This can be just as fun as taking photographs.
    • Use a small notebook that can be taken everywhere and encourage your group to write ideas, thoughts and those funny one-liners.
    • Avoid rude remarks about other classmates, though. You don't want the book in the wrong hands. Remember, this is a high school reunion, not high school.
  9. Ask someone to put together a slide show of high school photos.
    • Encourage everyone to send in good photos of people. Try to avoid the embarrassing ones.
    • Remember, you'll want everyone to be comfortable and have a good time.
    • Have the slide show featured at an event and have the pictures made available online.
  10. Bring a video camera and document you and your friends' return to your high school town.
    • Combine the video with some still photos and music for a great documentary of your weekend.
    • Send these to your friends that star in the project.
  11. Consider booking a hotel suite or a larger hotel room if many of your friends are staying in the same location.
    • Have your closest friends over for cocktails.
    • By having a suite with a couch or extra chairs you can be more comfortable.
    • Sit around in your pajamas with your oldest friends and catch up at night once the events have ended.
    • Ask for a room with a refrigerator to keep beverages cool or keep a cooler with ice on hand.
    • Stop by the store for light snacks and munchies on your way into town.
    • Buy or bring cups or plastic glasses for beer or wine since it may be difficult to find glassware after hours in your hotel.
    • Remember bottle openers and the cork screw for the wine.
    • Pick up wine from any popular vineyards in your area or beverages that are popular to your area for sharing.
    • You can try the cheap beer and old favorites from high school if your group is particularly nostalgic.
  12. Ask an old friend to be your roommate in the hotel if you are both single or if you're leaving your spouses at home.
  13. Share your cell number and hotel room number with close friends as soon as you get checked in. Invite friends to drop by but give them a time frame so your schedule isn't compromised.
  14. Take a group photo of you and your closest friends.
    • You can have this framed and send as gifts for the holidays or sometime after your reunion.
    • Look through old photos and try to recreate a "Then" and "Now" picture. Try to take the image in the same order. It will be fun to frame these side by side for comparison of how everyone has changed.
  15. Skip an reunion event that doesn't appeal to you or your friends and plan a group activity together.
  16. Leave the kids and spouses at home. It's alright if you go solo and spend the weekend with your friends.
    • Many events won't appeal to children and your activities will be limited depending on your access to childcare.
    • If you're worried about your spouse being bored you can give them the option of attending.
    • Most events are planned for the returning students and not child appropriate.
    • Don't impose on other classmates by dragging your kids to every event.
  17. Travel with your friends. Make the event a road trip if you and other friends are traveling from other states.
    • Load your MP3 player or create CDs with your favorite music from high school.
    • Coordinate picking up any friends along the way or meeting at a midpoint and riding together.
    • Someone from farther away can fly to your town and drive with you the rest of the way. You'll need to coordinate flights and getting them back to the airport.
    • This is especially helpful if your high school isn't near an airport or if your friend can find a cheaper flight to your town.
    • If you are traveling somewhere with nice weather and it's in the budget, consider renting a convertible.
  18. Take plenty of wardrobe options in case other plans are made. If your friends want to go out for a nice brunch or a night out on the town, you should be prepared.
  19. Take your laptop and post pictures from the weekend. Don't forget mobile uploads.
  20. Play your favorite music from your high school days while you're getting ready or your friends are visiting.
  21. Set up a private group on a social networking sites and invite your closest friends. It will be easier to coordinate.
  22. Pack clothes that make you feel good. Don't try to overdo it or show off. Chances are you will look back at the photos and cringe.
    • Depending on your town and the planning committee the events may range from very casual to semi-formal. Make sure you pack for these scheduled events as well as hanging out and doing things with your friends.
    • Since most of your photos will be with your better friends it is better if you are all observing the same dress code. You don't want to be the only one in shorts or khakis if everyone else is in cocktail dresses and suits.
    • Make sure you are packing the appropriate attire if there is an event or restaurant nearby that you are interested in breaking away and visiting with your friends. If it's something very specific you should let everyone know ahead of time to pack the appropriate attire or footwear.
    • A trip to a local amusement park may require serious walking shoes whereas a local fine dining restaurant may require something more sophisticated. At least discuss bringing the appropriate items in case you are able go. It would be a shame for everyone to miss out on something because someone didn't bring the right outfit or shoes.
  23. Support each other in any weight loss goals for the reunion. Share ideas, recipes and workout tips.
    • If you live near a high school friend you can buddy up for work outs and dieting.
  24. Be yourself. Don't try to impress those people you wanted to impress in high school. Being self-confident is impressive enough.
  25. Enjoy some of the scenery and sites around your former town or high school. Take a group and go on a tour or a mini-road trip to a nearby attraction.
  26. Talk to your closest friends about arriving a day early so you can spend time together catching up.
  27. Follow the reunion web site and check the itinerary as soon as it is confirmed.
    • Events may have changed, been moved or replaced by other events.
    • Go over the details with your friends to avoid any surprises before you make any plans.
  28. Avoid being the only one drunk at the party. Not everyone is still a party animal so remember to drink in moderation. You'll want to remember the reunion and not be the laughing stock.
  29. Swap contact information with people you are getting to know again.
    • If you don't have business cards you can print up your own with your basic contact information, your married name, your web address or any url to your social networking sites.
    • Married women should include your name as FIRST MAIDEN LAST so that your new contacts won't have questions about spelling or keeping everyone's married name straight.
    • By having something to hand out you can also coordinate the sharing of photos.
  30. Pass out business cards and network with old classmates.
    • Just remember that it's a reunion and not a convention. People will be put off if you spend all weekend trying to "work" them.
    • Unless they press and ask questions you should limit chatting about work to one or two sentences. Don't spend all night taking about your job.